Conversation with a Teenager

A conversation with my 14 year old nephew yesterday sparked some inspiration within me.

We were driving in my car on the way back from the store and he asked me why Proposition 8 was a big deal. My reply: It's not just about gay marriage, it's about the idea that people want to write discrimination into the state constitution. He asked me, "is that even possible?"

I said, "unfortunately, it is." His reply: "that doesn't seem fair"

I'm a little taken back by the fact that my 14 year old nephew gets it but that there are hundreds of thousands in California who don't. They are afraid that this issue will affect our children...well guess what, it has. Now, I have to sit down and explain to my nephew why the religious people of California want to write discrimination into our Constitution. I have to make him understand that there are people who feel they need to "minister" to us about love while they go behind our backs and preach hate. The problem is, I don't know how to do that!

"But wasn't this country founded on religion?" he asks me. I tell him, "the way people act nowadays you would think it was, but it wasn't. Our forefathers came to this country because they didn't feel it was right for a country to force religion on their people, so they came here to North America to make a better life."

"So, then why do they force it upon us now?" he asked innocently.

"That's why this proposition is so controversial." I exclaimed. "People have forgotten what this country was founded on."

I know people say that they fear what will happen to this country if gays marry. That's the least of my worries. My biggest fear is: how can we raise our children in a society that promotes fear and discrimination? This is seriously gone from a concern of gay marriage to an act of civil rights. And I seriously thought in the year 2008 we were farther along and better than that as a country. But I had to explain to my nephew, on the way back from the store, that I was wrong.

I helped raise my two eldest nephews. The only lessons I wanted them to learn was that life is too short for hate and that you should never give up on your dreams. I fear that on the morning of November 5, 2008 the oldest will wake up to a world of second class citizens and will turn to me again and ask why. He learned in school the hardships that the African American community had to endure in the 60s when they fought for THEIR freedom. He was even taught how wrong it was that they were treated differently.

I love my nephews...they are like sons to me. I want to create a world that they can be proud to live in. I just have to pray that the rest of the people around us have the courage to do the right thing.

Inspiration at Ground Zero

This blog is about inspiration. Where it comes from...where writers find it. It's elusive at best; sought after constantly. Where do writers get it from? It's the one question I ask whenever I meet a new writer. Each writer is different and therefore they find inspiration in so many different ways.

When I'm asked what inspires me the only answer i give is: life. I am inspired by life! It's the most simple answer I can think of. I'm a people watcher. I'm always intrigued as to how people behave in public vs. how they differ in their private homes. I sit at the airport, or the mall, or while I'm at lunch and watch how people relate to each other or those around them. Each person has a story and, as a writer, sometimes I find myself filling in the blanks on their life.

Writing is often more or less a fictionalized version of how we interpret life. So I try to note everything around me.

One of my biggest inspirations thus far is my recent trip to New York City. The last time I visited I was 9. I don't remember too much about the trip, however. So I started this trip with a new fresh perspective.



I came to New York wit 6140 Productions to make a movie called The Four Faced Liar. We filmed for six days and I've had the last three days to myself to enjoy the city. This is where my true inspiration began. Although, we filmed at 4am in the West Village, I learned then exactly what the night life in New York is really like. That was quite a shock to this LA boy who always though bars closed at 2am.



But I found the night life inspiring. The people that were attracted to it. The way the buildings were lit. How they towered over everything, protecting it against the world. They're almost celestial bodies at night! I realized early on how New York is it's own character. There is something magical and surreal about the city. It's almost familiar even if, like me, it's your first time.

I walked around Times Square, around Broadway, around Chelsea, West Village and met my favorite actress and friend in Astor Place. Everywhere you go there is a small piece of history or architect that demands a tiny portion of your attention. It's splendidly marvelous.




Today, though, I have tickets to see my first broadway musical on broadway! Spring Awakening this evening at 7pm. (And theatre is a great inspiration!) However, this afternoon I took the liberty of taking the 6 train down to the World Trade Center. I got off the train and walked the three blocks to where these majestic buildings used to stand. Amongst the towering buildings still standing, there is a great hole when you look up. It's almost as if their shadow still rests there. It's humbling. To stand there and see the great emptiness and know, wonder even, what it must've been like to stand there in that same spot seven years previous and watch the towers, ablaze, full of concern, and fear, for the uncertainty. It's a fear I hope we no longer have to experience.

I made my way into the gift shop where I bought a few trinkets; my most treasured being a small metal bracelet I bought. They come wrapped in a small blue gift bag. They are randomly given to you and each one is embossed with a name of a victim from 9/11. I took my little blue bag and walked across the street to St. Peter's Parish. It once used to stand in the shadows of the towers but when they fell it became a relief center for so many including volunteers and fire fighters. I walked the grounds, saw the old headstones from the 1800's and stood in front of the little memorials inside the church honoring the victims of 9/11. I couldn't help but cry. I remembered eight years ago walking down the streets of LA holding a candle in memorium of these same people.




I slowly made my way back to the front sitting on a bench under the trees. I sat there in silence. The church so tall and strong out in front of me. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the little blue bag, where my metal bracelet wait inside. I pulled open the draw string and out came my bracelet: Jerrold Paskins, died 9-11-01 at the World Trade Center. My eyes swelled with tears as I held the bracelet, saying a silent prayer for him..and for his family who, to this day, probably mourn the loss of him.

I put the bracelet on, put the blue bag in my pocket and and stood up from the bench. Just like the rest of New York, I too needed to get up and move on. The new building is in the process of being erected. It will always stand for a beacon of hope for a city of so many people.

Decisions

The last couple of weeks have been rather slammed (and rather difficult as well) for me. First, I worked on an action film called Ballistica, which kept me busy for 14 1/2 hour days and then the next day after that I started a horror film called Detention. It's fun but I am tired to say the least. I've been filming non-stop for most of the year. NOT that I'm complaining....however, it leaves little room for writing.

And my writing is frustrating because I've been working at it since I was 10....and it just seems that the harder I work at it...the longer it takes.

The show Boulevard with Elliot is going well. We're in the middle of a contract with SAG. Once that's done we can film. So, that's good. The project with Danny is not too bad either.....i'll finish writing next week before I start my new job. But i've tried for three years to get my play produced...and I don't know where to look, which avenue to follow. I need to finish my second book of poetry and I wish the illustrator for my children's book would contact me back....but he has seemed to disappear off the planet. Global warming, perhaps? Maybe he just spontaneously combusted!

With all that said, I've decided to slow down on the writing front....for now. Until, I can organize my life a bit better. That was the decision I had made earlier this week....until I talked to my friend Erik Powell in New York. He was trying to get his play produced as well. Then he decided to adapt it into a book and market it that way. Now, it's about to have it's first run in New York. I'm so proud of him.....so I have decided that even though my writing is just a hobby....that I'm going to adapt my play "You Can Call Me Eve" into a book. I've toyed with the idea for a while.....so I think it should be done. So for the next two - three months I will be working on that while I film.

I guess i'm just a glutton for punishment....but writing is a must.

Oh, and I must mention that I'm going to be acting in a play in November. Whew! Hopefully I'll be able to squeeze in a trip to London. I've always wanted to go and I've never been...and as a writer I think it would be the trip to help to kick start my creativity, especially since a trip to Paris could happen while I'm there. ;)

Swimming the Storm

Tonight, July 25th, 2008 at 8pm at O Bar in West Hollywood, CA I am celebrating the re-release of my first poetry book "Swimming the Storm." This book is very special to me. It's the first book I ever wrote since moving to LA 10 years ago.

The book, in itself, was a journey. I had joined a writing group. An all black spoken word group that met at the DWP building on the corner of Crenshaw Blvd and Kings. The lesson I learned in this group were most valuable to me as writer. Most of the people in the group were seasoned writers....and the people I met through them enhanced my ability as a writer. Up until this point I had dabbled in poetry slightly but was mostly writing fiction. (At that time, i was working on a novel) So, this was all new.

When I started performing, people started to know my work. And then people would ask if they could buy my work but I didn't have anything available. So, while in the writing group, I went through a terrible break up....and all of my poems were dealing with that issue....and that's where the motivation for Swimming the Storm came from. The first cover was designed by my close friend James and I printed 250 copies.

Five years later, I run into people who have visited my website or learn of my book from talking with me and want to purchase the book. I no longer have any copies left....so I made the decision to reprint it. The cover was designed by Armin Torrentos, Jr for the second addition....and tonight, July 25th, is the celebration of that reprint.